I was up late watching the first season of my latest distraction TV series, "Nip and Tuck," when I heard some rumbling and stepped out onto my front porch to find my neighbor climbing onto her garbage pail to reach the lock on the inside of her gate. This was way more interesting than TV, I thought and said "Hello." With a drunken laugh she replied, "Hi, how are you doing, my boyfriend just locked me out." I laughed back and said, "About as good as you," telling her my news. And then the garbage pail went rolling out from under her and she went crashing down to the ground. She was drunk and still had a lit cigarette in her hand when she popped immediately back up to try again. I asked if she needed any help but she was determined to do it by her drunken self. I hadn't seen her boyfriend around for a while and recently saw a new one staying with her so I assumed as much.
Our block is relationship cursed. In the two years I have lived here I have witnessed numerous break-ups, cops being called, boyfriends breaking into neighbors' houses and couples arguing outside. I've been told of the break-ups that occurred right before I moved in. There have been eight break-ups within our block of nine homes in two years. I've suspected our block of being cursed for some time now and after tonight, I'm convinced.
We're "Desperate Housewives in the Hood". Sometimes it pays to stay up all night. I could write my own TV pilot.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Back in the Saddle
Last night I had the sweetest dream about my bicycle. I'm sad I haven't been able to ride it for a while now and I'm looking forward to getting back in the saddle.
It was a given to me by a close friend right after I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I heart my beautiful Bianchi Milano Cafe Racer and the one who gave it to me.
It was a given to me by a close friend right after I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I heart my beautiful Bianchi Milano Cafe Racer and the one who gave it to me.
A "Thing-Finder"
"What are you going to do now?" asked Tommy.
"I don't know what you are going to do," said Pippi, "but I can't lie around and be lazy. I am a Thing-Finder, and when you're a Thing-Finder you don't have a minute to spare."...
"What's that?" asked Tommy.
"Somebody who hunts for things, naturally....The whole world is full of things, and somebody has to look for them."
-Astrid Lindgren, Pippi Longstocking
Pippi Longstocking, was my favorite book growing up and a great influence. I need a refresher.
"I don't know what you are going to do," said Pippi, "but I can't lie around and be lazy. I am a Thing-Finder, and when you're a Thing-Finder you don't have a minute to spare."...
"What's that?" asked Tommy.
"Somebody who hunts for things, naturally....The whole world is full of things, and somebody has to look for them."
-Astrid Lindgren, Pippi Longstocking
Pippi Longstocking, was my favorite book growing up and a great influence. I need a refresher.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Sagwa, The Chinese Siamese Cat
I was reminded about this PBS series based on a book by one of my favorite authors, Amy Tan, called Sagwa, The Chinese Siamese Cat. It's so sweet it makes me want to cry.
Projects
This is the first post I drafted back on December 5, 2006. It was uplifting to see while I still have a lot to do, I have accomplished those things with an *. For those of you who know what's been going on in my life, I'm making OK progress especially considering my added projects. Now I feel ready to tackle these projects with more focus and determination.
Pick a few projects to focus on for the coming months:
Writing
*Continue writing
*Organize writing into tasks, subjects, chapters, unfinished thoughts.
Collect poetry into one document, one page per poem, save and print.
*Find all writing lying around house and do the same as above.
Classes (apply for scholarships)
Seward Park ceramics - one day workshops
Hugo House writing - check out day workshops after March, wait until next 1/4
Yoga - sign up for monthly membership, attend 2-3 x/wk
*Physical Therapy - enter appts into calendar, contact charity, keep going
Coupeville Arts Center sewing workshop - for next quilting classes - scholarship
Sewing
*Order Singer instruction manual
*Clean machine
*Do exercises in book with cloth I already have
*Buy backing and cut for quilt
Iron top, lay flat with batting, pin and sew loosely
Quilt
Complete edges and corners
Complete pillow cases, follow instructions from SCCC class
(While I didn't complete 1 and 2 I replaced those with a new sewing machine so I would have no technical interference in proceeding with the rest.)
New projects added and completed since February:
Learned to crochet
Crocheted 3 blankets with 2 more in the works
Completed a drawing
Sorted and purged 10 bags of recycling or garbage and made 3 trips to Goodwill (OK, so I was a paper hoarder. This one I'm embarrassed to admit but hey I'm finally working through it and it feels so good)
Recovered from a second major surgery with another next week
Pick a few projects to focus on for the coming months:
Writing
*Continue writing
*Organize writing into tasks, subjects, chapters, unfinished thoughts.
Collect poetry into one document, one page per poem, save and print.
*Find all writing lying around house and do the same as above.
Classes (apply for scholarships)
Seward Park ceramics - one day workshops
Hugo House writing - check out day workshops after March, wait until next 1/4
Yoga - sign up for monthly membership, attend 2-3 x/wk
*Physical Therapy - enter appts into calendar, contact charity, keep going
Coupeville Arts Center sewing workshop - for next quilting classes - scholarship
Sewing
*Order Singer instruction manual
*Clean machine
*Do exercises in book with cloth I already have
*Buy backing and cut for quilt
Iron top, lay flat with batting, pin and sew loosely
Quilt
Complete edges and corners
Complete pillow cases, follow instructions from SCCC class
(While I didn't complete 1 and 2 I replaced those with a new sewing machine so I would have no technical interference in proceeding with the rest.)
New projects added and completed since February:
Learned to crochet
Crocheted 3 blankets with 2 more in the works
Completed a drawing
Sorted and purged 10 bags of recycling or garbage and made 3 trips to Goodwill (OK, so I was a paper hoarder. This one I'm embarrassed to admit but hey I'm finally working through it and it feels so good)
Recovered from a second major surgery with another next week
Thingness
In my reading lately, the word "thingness" keeps appearing. Who decided this word was a good idea? I can't find an official definition online but I find references to usage by Aristotle and Nietzsche. For some reason, it makes my skin crawl and the word seems to be reaching a tipping point (eh another) at least in my world.
This is my favorite found use so far:
"Or as I tried to explain to a friend, 'part of the thing is the unthing that undermines the thingness of the thing, while being essential to its very definition. See? It can’t be the thing without that unthing that helps define the thing.' She kicked me in the shin. Good times."
-Dr. Heidi aka VirusHead
This is my favorite found use so far:
"Or as I tried to explain to a friend, 'part of the thing is the unthing that undermines the thingness of the thing, while being essential to its very definition. See? It can’t be the thing without that unthing that helps define the thing.' She kicked me in the shin. Good times."
-Dr. Heidi aka VirusHead
Izek Sewing Machine
How did I miss this? It's operated by a Game Boy and it's the coolest. There's one on eBay, bidding at $51 with 18 hours left.
The original iStore ad
A review
The original iStore ad
A review
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
I Am My Own Module
Earlier while clicking on the link to a close friend who I have been missing lately, this error message kept coming up: "The specified module could not be found." This has a double meaning for me right now and makes me think, isn't that the fucking truth?!
mod·ule (mjl)
n.
1. A standard or unit of measurement.
2. Architecture. The dimensions of a structural component, such as the base of a column, used as a unit of measurement or standard for determining the proportions of the rest of the construction.
courtesy http://www.thefreedictionary.com/module
Forever I've been measuring my life through the eyes and standards of others, probably has something to do with my strict Catholic upbringing. From here on out I'm concentrating on measuring my life through my own eyes. Whew, that's a relief.
Great, with only two posts up I've already used the word fuck twice. Is that even allowed? Maybe I should have read the rules more carefully.
mod·ule (mjl)
n.
1. A standard or unit of measurement.
2. Architecture. The dimensions of a structural component, such as the base of a column, used as a unit of measurement or standard for determining the proportions of the rest of the construction.
courtesy http://www.thefreedictionary.com/module
Forever I've been measuring my life through the eyes and standards of others, probably has something to do with my strict Catholic upbringing. From here on out I'm concentrating on measuring my life through my own eyes. Whew, that's a relief.
Great, with only two posts up I've already used the word fuck twice. Is that even allowed? Maybe I should have read the rules more carefully.
Get On With It
I opened this blog several months ago but for many reasons I have procrastinated posting anything. I'm not sure how I feel about putting my thoughts on the Internet but I'm ready to try something new, fun and inspiring so here goes. I'll start simply with a questionnaire I had fun filling out today:
40 Secrets About Me
1. What Is your natural hair color?
Brown but that's no secret.
2. Where was your default pic taken?
In my bedroom.
3. What's your middle name?
Ann and I've never liked it.
4. Your current place of living?
Seattle, Leschi neighborhood.
5. Honestly, does your crush like you back?
No.
6. What is your current mood?
Sad.
7. What color underwear are you wearing?
Flesh tone.
8. What makes you happy?
Being surrounded by good family and friends who I adore and who adore me right back.
9. What makes you sad?
Missing my closest friends who moved to Sweden last year.
10. If you could go back in time, and change something what you would change?
To have loved myself more and to not have lost touch with some friends over the years.
11. If you MUST be an animal for ONE day - what would you be?
Pepe, our communal cat now living the good life in the Swedish countryside with William and Jenny!
12. Ever had a near death experience?
Yes, more than once.
13. Something you do a lot?
Think too much.
14. What's the name of the song stuck in your head right now?
Marching Bands of Manhattan, Death Cab for Cutie.
15. Who did you copy and paste this from?
Lynnea.
16. Name someone with the same B-Day as you?
Francis Bacon, 1561.
17. When was the last time you cried?
A few hours ago.
18. Have you ever sung in front of a large audience?
Only a very small one, the song - Desperado.
19. If you could have one super power what would it be?
I have to agree with Lynnea, to heal people of things.
20. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite / same sex?
Same as Lynnea, their interpersonal skill level.
21. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
If it's the only coffee available, a short cappuccino. It's a secret order drink that's not on their menu but it's their best quality drink and any Starbuck's barista is trained to make it if you know to order it.
22. What's your biggest secret?
Sorry, can't share it here.
23. Fave color?
Pale turquoise.
24. When was the last time you lied?
I've been lying to myself since June of last year but I am now facing the truth and finally dealing with it.
25. Do you still watch kiddy movies or TV shows?
Sometimes, the PBS series "Arthur" and Amy Tan's "Sagwa", the original "Yours, Mine and Ours" and "Herbie", old kid movies with Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn.
26. Do you like school?
I did love it when I was in it but it's not for me right now. I want to go for my MFA one day. Maybe when I'm an old woman.
27. What are you eating or drinking at the moment?
Not much eating happening these days but lots of coffee drinking.
28. Do you speak any other language?
Unfortunately no but I would like to learn Swedish one day.
29. What's your favorite smell?
The ocean and the crisp air on an East coast Autumn day.
30. If you could describe your life in one word what would it be?
Magical.
31. When was the last time you gave / received a hug?
Monday morning.
32. Have you ever been kissed in the rain?
Yes.
33. What are you thinking about right now?
Love and loss.
34. What should you be doing?
Sorting and purging so I can start a new beginning.
35. What was the last thing that made you upset / angry?
Last night when nothing was going my way.
36. How often do you pray?
Never, I just yell "FUCK" which works for me every time.
37. Do you like working in the yard?
There was a time but not anymore. I want to try container gardening.
38. If you could have any last name in the world, what would you want?
I've been trying to figure that out for some time now because this one needs to go. Maybe Dittenhoeffer, my grandmother's maiden name.
39. Do you act differently around your crush?
Yes but that just means it's all wrong.
40. Name one song that reminds you of an ex?
Joni Mitchell's River
It's coming on Christmas
They're cutting down trees
They're putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
But it don't snow here
It stays pretty green
I'm going to make a lot of money
Then I'm going to quit this crazy scene
I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
I wish I had a river so long
I would teach my feet to fly
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
I made my baby cry
He tried hard to help me
You know, he put me at ease
And he loved me so naughty
Made me weak in the knees
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
I'm so hard to handle
I'm selfish and I'm sad
Now I've gone and lost the best baby
That I ever had
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
I wish I had a river so long
I would teach my feet to fly
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
I made my baby say goodbye
It's coming on Christmas
They're cutting down trees
They're putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
40 Secrets About Me
1. What Is your natural hair color?
Brown but that's no secret.
2. Where was your default pic taken?
In my bedroom.
3. What's your middle name?
Ann and I've never liked it.
4. Your current place of living?
Seattle, Leschi neighborhood.
5. Honestly, does your crush like you back?
No.
6. What is your current mood?
Sad.
7. What color underwear are you wearing?
Flesh tone.
8. What makes you happy?
Being surrounded by good family and friends who I adore and who adore me right back.
9. What makes you sad?
Missing my closest friends who moved to Sweden last year.
10. If you could go back in time, and change something what you would change?
To have loved myself more and to not have lost touch with some friends over the years.
11. If you MUST be an animal for ONE day - what would you be?
Pepe, our communal cat now living the good life in the Swedish countryside with William and Jenny!
12. Ever had a near death experience?
Yes, more than once.
13. Something you do a lot?
Think too much.
14. What's the name of the song stuck in your head right now?
Marching Bands of Manhattan, Death Cab for Cutie.
15. Who did you copy and paste this from?
Lynnea.
16. Name someone with the same B-Day as you?
Francis Bacon, 1561.
17. When was the last time you cried?
A few hours ago.
18. Have you ever sung in front of a large audience?
Only a very small one, the song - Desperado.
19. If you could have one super power what would it be?
I have to agree with Lynnea, to heal people of things.
20. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite / same sex?
Same as Lynnea, their interpersonal skill level.
21. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
If it's the only coffee available, a short cappuccino. It's a secret order drink that's not on their menu but it's their best quality drink and any Starbuck's barista is trained to make it if you know to order it.
22. What's your biggest secret?
Sorry, can't share it here.
23. Fave color?
Pale turquoise.
24. When was the last time you lied?
I've been lying to myself since June of last year but I am now facing the truth and finally dealing with it.
25. Do you still watch kiddy movies or TV shows?
Sometimes, the PBS series "Arthur" and Amy Tan's "Sagwa", the original "Yours, Mine and Ours" and "Herbie", old kid movies with Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn.
26. Do you like school?
I did love it when I was in it but it's not for me right now. I want to go for my MFA one day. Maybe when I'm an old woman.
27. What are you eating or drinking at the moment?
Not much eating happening these days but lots of coffee drinking.
28. Do you speak any other language?
Unfortunately no but I would like to learn Swedish one day.
29. What's your favorite smell?
The ocean and the crisp air on an East coast Autumn day.
30. If you could describe your life in one word what would it be?
Magical.
31. When was the last time you gave / received a hug?
Monday morning.
32. Have you ever been kissed in the rain?
Yes.
33. What are you thinking about right now?
Love and loss.
34. What should you be doing?
Sorting and purging so I can start a new beginning.
35. What was the last thing that made you upset / angry?
Last night when nothing was going my way.
36. How often do you pray?
Never, I just yell "FUCK" which works for me every time.
37. Do you like working in the yard?
There was a time but not anymore. I want to try container gardening.
38. If you could have any last name in the world, what would you want?
I've been trying to figure that out for some time now because this one needs to go. Maybe Dittenhoeffer, my grandmother's maiden name.
39. Do you act differently around your crush?
Yes but that just means it's all wrong.
40. Name one song that reminds you of an ex?
Joni Mitchell's River
It's coming on Christmas
They're cutting down trees
They're putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
But it don't snow here
It stays pretty green
I'm going to make a lot of money
Then I'm going to quit this crazy scene
I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
I wish I had a river so long
I would teach my feet to fly
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
I made my baby cry
He tried hard to help me
You know, he put me at ease
And he loved me so naughty
Made me weak in the knees
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
I'm so hard to handle
I'm selfish and I'm sad
Now I've gone and lost the best baby
That I ever had
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
I wish I had a river so long
I would teach my feet to fly
Oh I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
I made my baby say goodbye
It's coming on Christmas
They're cutting down trees
They're putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
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